I’m pretty sure I’m depressed. Again. I’ve always felt that I was depressed but had an especially bad four months three years ago when I seriously contemplated suicide and actually went to see a therapist. It helped a lot, at least until my Mom died two years ago. I think that the fact that I am able to keep living, that life has to go on even though she is dead bothers me more then anything. These past couple months have been really bad and I’ve been wondering if I’m actually depressed or if I’m just feeling down, like everyone does sometimes. But I’ve been reading some stuff online, and I feel like I am actually depressed. But I don’t want to tell anyone. Everyone has there own shit to deal with — why would they want to deal with mine? I’m just so sick of trying to so hard to be happy. I either feel numb or just want to lay in bed and cry. I keep thinking that maybe if I just do something, keep busy I will be ok…but as soon as I stop my emotions catch up with me and I just feel like I’m never going to really be happy. I have good friends, and family who love me, a good home, a Dad who loves me. I know that I should be thankful and happy for what I have, because there are people who have far less…but I can’t help it.