I can’t do anything right. I had a great friend and ruined it in a way I don’t know… I wish I knew what happened. Start vent directed at a so called friend to make me feel better since I’m not sending this to them tho I should…
Everything was fine, and I even made a visit for a week cross country with nothing said about anything being wrong, after being BEGGED to come out. And up to a little over a month ago send me texts or FB messages to call you at x time or “where are u” messages, then shove me away for me calling or messaging to much. You asked me to! WTF?! You told me that you wanted IN YOUR OWN WORDS, your “daily dose of sanity” by talking to me in the mornings or nights, or a message to say hi and good morning. Now that I do, you shove me away and say “you’re a good friend but”…Well screw ya! Are you serious? (And BTW friend…Your and You’re have 2 DIFFERENT meanings…LEARN THEM DAMNIT). Looking back at all the messages from before about 7 weeks ago in trying to figure out what happened between us, you were fine with us talking because you were the one initiating, keeping conversations going with “hey what happened to ya” if I disappeared for a few minutes, or wondering where I was if I wasn’t home when I usually am or something anyway. Hell you even bought a new laptop to take on vacation a few months ago so that we could chat and FB together when u had downtime. Don’t act like s**t is ok when it’s not. Got a friggen problem, TELL ME. Don’t sit on it for over a month after I leave from visiting you, ignore me when I ask if everything is ok when you’re so quiet and not yourself. I was there for you when some major trouble happened. I offered my prayers, my support and a shoulder. But I’m gonna tell ya…The trouble that happened was YOUR KIDS CHOICE. She’s a 30 year old ADULT. That was her choice. Yea, you’re a parent, but shit, let her learn from HER mistake. Don’t mop up after her and make it all better like she’s in elementary school. She’s in trouble. She needs to learn from that, not have her problems solved for her. Yes be there for her and support her emotionally, but s**t, let her learn from her choice too. And don’t wonder how to not hurt my feelings by bringing something up. I appreciate the thought, but I’m a damn adult, let me know so I’m not wondering what the hell is going on. I’d rather know than wonder why you’re ignoring me. Grow a pair will ya? Good grief. Honesty damnit. Friends should be up front with friends, not pussyfoot around issues. Real friends will understand and go on with the “relationship”. If I were a real friend, you wouldn’t have sat on this for so long and just said something like “I need to back off for awhile. I’ll catch up with you in a week or two”. I’d have been FINE with that. F*n spit it out and move on damnit. Seems other than my fiance who I don’t see too often with work and stuff, and this particular individual at the time, I must turn people off since it almost seems lately nobody wants to talk to me. I am a funny, down to earth and caring person (as long as ya don’t piss me off) who doesn’t ask for much other than friendship and a “hey how are you” and a little conversation every once in awhile. We were close…I’ve never been close with people and this is why. I finally do and I get hammered. FML. Makes me wonder if I’m really friends with these people in my life or they just be nice to me not to hurt my feelings. Again, grow a pair. Wanna be friends or not? Friends usually talk or just say “hi, how are ya? Wanted to check in and catch up” more than once a millennium. After this last event, I’m never getting close to anyone like that ever again. It hurts like hell and now I wish I’d never met this person and they were my best/closest friend. While it is not a fight and we still wanna be friends to a point, but I’m not going outta my way to be there when needed anymore, or go out when BEGGED to. I give up. I’m sick of hearing “you’re a nice and caring person, but…”. I try to be a good friend and listener but am sick of getting f*d over. I’m such an idiot for even caring about some people. I never learn. I’m done caring for people as much as I do. Don’t get me wrong, yes I’ll still care, but not as much as I do. Honestly I’m not a complainer, but damn I’m friggen so angry right now I could put my fist thru a wall. Venting here is a better idea. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate all I have in my life, but I hate freakin “friend politics”…And for cryin out loud…Don’t be pissed because I friended 4 friends of yours on FB who requested or asked in person that I add them. Holy cow are we adults or high schoolers? GET OVER IT! Good grief. You have more of my friends on your FB list than I have your friends on mine, and you’ve never met my friends! At least with one exception to who asked me to add them, I’ve met yours and been asked to add, or YOU told them to friend me – “hey I wanna introduce you to ___. I’ll tell them to send a request ok?”. And the other exception was someone that played a game I was in so I friended them to have someone else on the list. Geez at least I’ve met these people with the exception of your one son, the game player and the lady YOU introduced to me. Again…You have NEVER met my friends..Hell..You’ve never even been to my state! There’s no f*n way you’d know my friends anyway. YOU’RE ACROSS THE COUNTRY. Always have been, always will be. Oh and your kids. One you wanted me to friend for a stupid game I don’t even play anymore and the other you wanted me to friend so I could see his pics. If he wanted me to see those, he’d friend me. So YOU set those up. Not me. I don’t bitch about…”OMG you’re friends with X,Y, Z…They’re my friends….”. That’s jealousy, and not a true friend trait to me. Hell, wanna be friends with my friends, knock yourself out! I don’t care who the hell you’re friends with. That’s your business. Who I’m friends with is mine. Holy s**t. Give me a break. Damn, people suck. I wonder why I cared so much for you as a friend when it was all for nothing, especially this past year. F**K YOU. After all that I’m rethinking this whole friend to a point thing too…Screw it. It’s not worth it. I’m over ya. Just boxed up all the stuff you sent for birthday and s**t too…Dunno what I’m doin with it yet. Makes me sick just looking at it. You used to be a fun loving chatty person. Now you don’t give 2 hoots about ANYTHING but spewing your political shit all over FB. Sick of it. Hid you from my feed. END VENT. **Burns symbolic effigy of former best friend** Thank you venting tree. I feel better now.