I know like 90% of the problems on here …
I know like 90% of the problems on here are relationships but I have one more to add. Its kind of a long story and hard to explain, but there is this girl, and ever since I was in middle school with her (one year older than me) I’ve liked her.. Until around 1 or two years ago, then I knew i loved her. The problem was I didn’t have enough courage to ask her out… But eventually one day I got up enough courage to do it the next time I saw her, problem was the next time I saw her it was in a big crowd and we ended up getting swept into opposite directions without talking. So I vowed that the next time I would ask. Unfortunately someone I knew, I wouldn’t really consider him as a friend, found out what I was going to do and without my knowing asked her that very day in spite of knowing that I was going to. So then when I asked next week i was very embarrassing to me because I totally opened up to her and basically got rejected. Around a year later I learned how to cope with it, figuring that if it didn’t fail in the first 6 months at least it probably wasn’t, but still I remained devoted. Everything would have been alright until the present circumstances came around. As of late we have started to become very close. She would never cheat on someone, and as much of a temptation it would be, I wouldn’t enable her to cheat with him, so it is more of a very close friends relationship. This coupled with the fact that she is (finally) seeing the negative traits of the guy she is with, and is unhappy about how he acts, afraid that he would lash out to her someday, makes me feel like there is hope, but unfortunately hope isn’t what I want in this situation because it will probably end up being false. I don’t even know why I’m putting this on here, but I feel so bad imagining on these late nights that her boyfriend would end up lashing out and even hitting her, and me being there to comfort her, or even him dying. These are probably bad thoughts to be thinking but I can’t stop it. By the way, I never told her what he did.. I don’t think I can bring myself to do it either. I just don’t know what to do… Please don’t tell me it’s “Just a phase”, because I’ve felt this way for years now, and I would gladly give up my life for her and everything in it.
Mr. VT 2:59 pm on December 18, 2009 Permalink |
What DID you do that you can bring yourself to tell her? I think the best thing you can do is just continue to show her that you care for her and you’ll be there to support her through whatever, especially this possibly abusive boyfriend she has… And these thoughts you’re having are normal, but do you best to block them from you head (and I understand that probably won’t be easy). If she is starting to realize that he might lash out on her and that he’s making her felling unhappy, I think she’ll eventually leave him (hopefully sooner rather than later)… So once again my best advice would to just continue to show love – more of a brotherly love than a passionate/girlfriend type love cuz you’re just friends, but maybe eventually after she’s over this guy she start to fall for you, then you can bust out the love you really have for her…