I’m 16, my best friend is a whore who lives on the east coast while I live in the midwest. She has …

I’m 16, my best friend is a whore who lives on the east coast while I live in the midwest. She has no idea who I really am and all we seem to do is ERP. I’m lazy, I can’t seem to change that. I weigh about 300 lbs, as of last july, I havent wieghed myself since out of fear. My girlfriend dumped me last wednesday, and instead of cutting myself, I like to heat up paperclips with a lighter I stole from my father and press them into the back of my left hand, leaving scars so that I can see how fucked up my life is. Other than that, I’ve tried killing myself several times over, only to be talked out of it by my former girlfriend, so I can’t be too sure my next attempt won’t succeed. Also, I think I’m becomming a sociopath. I don’t have a little voice that tells me not to do things because they’re wrong. I have a little voice that tells me not do to things because other people will hurt me if I do “bad” things.