Its pretty sad when your own friends wont let you talk to them so you need to resort to the internet…
Its pretty sad when your own friends wont let you talk to them so you need to resort to the internet, or the phone isnt it? Strangers are there for you, but youre friends arent. If anyone actually takes time to read what i have to say, i just want to thank you for your time, i really do appreciate it.. My own friends wont give me a couple of minutes to talk to them about my problems. Its pretty crazy the things some people can go through, so if you dont mind, i will get this off my chest for the first time. Im 17 and i have depression. I am always being mentally abused, and im always being used. No matter what i do to try to get the negativety off my mind it just never works.. I feel worthless, useless and i feel like a burden to everyone. Im failling school, im trying to get a job but its not working, and i feel isolated in my own mind – if that makes any sense. Like, my mind wont let me think outside of my head, i feel trapped in my thoughts. Most days i wish i was never born, i never existed, i never knew what life was. I know this is kinda sad but really my only friend is my cat.. She never leaves me and shes always there for me. Shes going to be passing away soon because she has heart and lung problems.. I dont really know whats gonna happen to me after she leaves. Im already starting to tear up just thinking of it. Ive actually thought of the way i want to go, but im too scared to do it. I cant think of any reason to not do it but im just too scared. I dont really want to go into details about my problems cause then it would just be a waste of your time. And please, leave out anything that has to do with religion.
admin 6:53 pm on March 9, 2010 Permalink |
First off, you’re NOT worthless! Not at all, what you’re going through happens to a lot of people, so you’re not alone. I think of the most important things you could do is to share how you are feeling with those you are closest too.. regardless of how close you are to them. Other people can see things about our self that we often fail to see. I think opening up to others (which is like thee hardest thing to do when you’re in a tough situation) will definitely help you get out of the isolation in your own mind. If you keep all your feelings and thoughts in your own mind then you practically ARE living in your own mind.
And you should think about getting a new little kitty! Or maybe take this opportunity and replace your cat with new friends or more time with family?
Tony 1:29 pm on March 12, 2010 Permalink |
Wishing you well. : )
Tony 11:32 pm on March 9, 2010 Permalink |
You are describing the symptoms of a MAJOR depressive episode. I know, I’ve had them. The chemicals in your brain that regulate emotions are not balanced. It is a hard thing to understand that a chemical imbalance can wreak such havoc in your life. You have to go to a doctor NOW. You will not always feel this way, you will get better. The feelings of being a burden and being “trapped in your head” will go away. The fog will lift, a brighter day will come. You must think of this as an illness, not something to be embarrassed about. Just like a broken leg needs time to heal, your brain needs time also. Be gentle with yourself, just as you would if you were recovering from the measles or any other disease. Now that I know that you exist and you are sick, I can think about you and try to comfort you. That is what a sick person needs. So you are worth a lot to me. Know that things will get better. Wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a big hug from me. Know that someone is thinking of you and wishing you well, you are not alone. : )
Taanya 9:07 pm on March 10, 2010 Permalink |
It’s nice to know someone cares and what you said Tony is exactly how it is.. i dont always feel like this but when i do its really bad. thaanks alot guys :]