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i feel alot of anger inside me like ok i cheated on my boyfriend again and i keep messing around with this guy but i love the man im with idk why i do this i think its the drugs i do i feel so lost like i need to find my way again i feel like im in a hole i dont want to tell my boyfriend because he will leave me but i dont want to lie anymore idk what to do i want to be with him i want to hear him say i forgive you and everything go back to normal but life doesnt go that way i want him to leave me so i dont have to ever hurt him ughhh i hate how much i love and i didi it to my self im such a stupid bitch he treats me so good he never once has cheated on me and never will he tell me he loves me and cares about me but i dont accept it no guy has ever givin me this much and i just throw it all away i dont know why this is happening i just wish i could disapppear !